I had a hard time deciding what to title this blog entry: “Lessons Learned,” “A Phoenix Story: Rising from the Ashes,” “What Doesn’t Break You Will Only Make You Stronger”, or the old stand-by, “If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade”. Take your pick; they all seem to apply.

Sometimes seems like life can just drag you down and down and down. It seems to be one of those times the last half of this summer.

The lemons all started in late July with Potomac Fever hitting two of my horses and the accompanying laminitis affecting my 2* horse quite badly; and that episode giving me thousands of dollars in vet bills to contend with;

Continuing with my 3* horse having two of the greatest XC runs of his life at the 3*s at both Jersey Fresh in May and at Richland Park in August, but now all of a sudden, when faced with the XC course at AECs and then recently showjumping at Morven Park, he does not want to jump at all—so now we’ll need to head back to the vet to figure this out (and add more to that vet bill). Hopefully it’s just the need for hock or stifle injections or something relatively simple, but have to see if continuing his upper level career and our Rolex aspirations will even be in the cards for our future;

To my prelim/sale horse (the other one who also got hit with Potomac although not as badly) getting some sort of mysterious bite or sting on his leg, which laid him off for a couple of weeks as we tried to figure out what was going on and get rid of the swelling (and, of course, added even more to those “lovely” vet bills)!!

To now, the BIG lemon, after 3 years of trying to build up my client base here in the western Cincinnati area, running my teaching, care, and training business, and then just this week getting kicked out of the barn I’ve been at for 2 ½ years, with just 30 days notice to find a spot for 8-10 horses (fortunately a couple were moving out of state or being sold anyway). The worst part is my area doesn’t have a lot of nice horse barns suitable for upper level horses, so looks like my only options for moving will entail a 45+ minute daily drive for me morning and night, 7 days a week (as right now I do ALL the care for client horses as well as my own), and even more of a drive for a lot of my lesson clients—so much that many will not be able to follow for lessons. Admittedly, many of my clients are young kids who are riding a couple of horses I have available for lessons, rather than clients riding and eventing with their own horses. But they are great kids whose families have supported me as they can and as I try to make the beginnings of a living (“thanks” to you guys!)

Things can get difficult and sometimes you really feel unmotivated to continue.

So now I keep thinking of a few words that friend and fellow eventer, Micheline Jordan, shared with me at Richland. Don’t even remember why this subject came up, but her words now keep coming back to me: the importance of surrounding yourself with “A” people, those people that have your back, that support you through thick and thin, and that cheer for you when you do well rather than those “B” people; those that resent your successes and don’t rejoice in your accomplishments, grumble and even talk behind your back.

I admit I’ve sometimes acted like a “B” person, maybe being a bit jealous of those that appear to have more (nicer or more $$ horses or better successes or are able to afford all those lessons with great instructors) or those that do better than me at a particular event. Usually turns out, once I meet those people and get to know them, they’re likable, kind people who have struggles like me, maybe different ones but struggles nonetheless.

But this last lemon, getting booted to the curb, has really made me realize the importance of those “A” relationships. I have recently been amazed at the support, encouragement, and kind words of so many people. The whole staff at the vet clinic I use, sitting down at their staff meeting and brainstorming to help come up with some ideas for places where I might be able to move my business! Strangers contacting me who want me to check into moving to their place—they’ve asked around about me and my business and are impressed with what they see and want to talk (unfortunately so far those places have also been pretty far away). People I’m acquainted with but haven’t spoken with in years who contact me offering barn/location suggestions (and I’m not even sure how they’ve heard about my problem). And friends just offering some stalls for a while if I get desperate.

I think the relationship at my current location was a bit of a “B” relationship. And maybe I’ve sensed that all along, hoping to change it, but I guess it wasn’t to be. So now it’s time to find that “A” relationship and move on.

So those words of Micheline’s, as well as all the support and encouragement I’m getting, are giving me a bit of motivation—to try and pick myself up and continue on. I’m not sure where yet, and how we’ll afford things for a while, but I’ve worked so hard and enjoy doing what I’ve been doing so much, that I guess it’s worth the struggles and grief. So now I’ll try to keep those “A” people around me and take encouragement from them and ignore those who don’t really support my efforts.

So my lessons learned: Keep those “A” people close! And try your d&@#-est to make that lemonade!